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Today we are going to talk about raising internally motivated children.

Wouldn’t it be incredibly awesome if kids did everything without being asked?

Everyone knows that is not possible simply because kids are not necessarily wired that way.

They naturally want to do things their own way, which sometimes means doing the opposite of what a parent asks of them.

I believe that you can raise internally motivated children when you are intentional about it.

How to raise internally motivated children

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One thing I’ve noticed is that my kids are much more likely to be motivated when they have responsibility.

If you raise your children and never ask anything of them, why should they be motivated to do anything?

Think about it: we do laundry because we need clean clothes, right?

Well, it’s important to instill this concept in our children.


If you want to raise internally motivated kids, then it’s important to be a good example.

Don’t expect something out of your kids that you are not willing to be yourself.

If your kids can see you do things without delaying or being asked by someone else, they will see that you are very internally motivated and that will trickle down to them.


Your kids need to see that you love them whether they are internally motivated or not.

However, kids who are loved and know they are loved are going to be more willing to do things on their own.

They’ll spend less time sulking and more time being motivated in life.

You are a major key to your child’s emotional success.


Give your child a chance to be motivated at doing things in life.

Present them with opportunities and let them fail (and succeed!) on their own.

Life is all about choices, and given the right ones, your children will soar.

Let me give you a personal example of this one.

I let my 10-year-old cook and bake all on her own. My husband and I have been an example to her and taught her the basics – now when she cooks/bakes we stay out of the kitchen unless she asks for us.

It motivates her to do her best and not have mom try to tell her how she could do it better or what she is missing – giving her the chance to practice on her own really motivates her.

If she makes a flop it motivates her to try harder next time. She also knows that cleaning up is part of cooking/baking so she does that on her own now too.

Now when she sees me cleaning in the kitchen, she is motivated to lend a hand because she knows that it is work. 

How is that for helping you raise your children to be internally motivated?

I’d love to hear your tips for this as well.


image via Shutterstock

Be sure to check out these books:

Raising Grateful Kids In An Entitled World

The Parent’s Guide to Raising Independent, Motivated Kids!

You may also like: LESS TOYS, HAPPIER KIDS?

less toys, happier kids -

image via Shutterstock

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Friday 9th of November 2018

Whenever my son looks to be even a bit curious about what I'm doing, I try and show him exactly what it is I'm doing, step-by-step. He loves trying to do things himself and I always praise him for it, whether he does it right or not. If he doesn't do it right, I gently show him what he could do differently. And now he's 21 months old and tidies up random plates and cups, and tries to put rubbish in the bin. Sometimes he tries to put non-rubbish in the bin but then I just tell him that that doesn't go there. I never force him, I just guide him. That is my job as a mom, guiding my children.

Ali Boehm

Monday 5th of November 2018

My 2 year old is convinced the animals are his responsibility, he has melt downs if I feed or poop them without him. It’s pretty incredible to see! He is so proud!


Tuesday 24th of July 2018

Great ideas. I read a book quite some time ago about letting the kids experience the consequences of their actions. If daughter doesn't do the laundry she has no clothes to wear, if her bath towel isn't hung up she has a wet towel, etc... Easy things that aren't dangerous of course. My favorite thing to do though is let her over hear me telling someone how helpful she is, what a hard worker. I try to do this a couple of times a year or so. Makes a huge difference. Kids want to live up to our expectations.


Thursday 19th of July 2018

Now how do you get a child motivated when youve shown them motivation from when they were little but has decided not to do anything and just be lazy and not help clean or have an attitude about being asked to clean.

Daphne Delouya / The Latest Bloomer

Monday 12th of February 2018

Great post. Thank you. Years ago I was with my friend who had family friends visiting. I'll never forget how their two teenage boys offered to help her in the kitchen, without being asked. It was so lovely to see how engaged they were with everyone and thoughtful. To some degree, I image it was inborn, these were genuinely nice kids, but their parents certainly did a lot of things right! I believe it's so important to teach children to think of others. To show them the difference it makes. The word "no" is a great word! And sometimes it's enough. But I love to show a child, who's being disruptive, that there are other people around, and they're disturbing them. Same thing with your kitchen clean-up example. Your daughter knows how to consider you. So well done!

Jody @ Mommy Moment

Monday 12th of February 2018

Daphne, Thanks so much for sharing that memory with us and leaving a comment. I hope this post is helpful to parents. I am sure we all want do our best to raise our children and if this resonates with some, I'm thankful.