Your "peaceful child" and Sleep questions – Answered

Q: What a parent should do when child isn’t Peaceful?  My almost 3 1/2 year old is constantly showing an attitude from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep. Nothing seems to please him, gets frustrated easily and shows anger even when we make our best effort in providing him a peaceful environment at home. He even hits his big brother. I honestly don’t know how to deal with this sometimes. I understand we need to help him improve his communication skills, and this is exactly what we’re trying to do. However, my worry is there is something else going on that I’m not aware of. How would you go about this? I appreciate your help.

A: Well not knowing more details it sounds like he may be frustrated with what is around him.  I agree 100% that starting with communication skills may be a good idea.  Another thing that I would suggest is to look at what is around him…big people.  He is at an age where he can understand the sibling dynamic and I suspect he may want to emulate his older brother; however he knows he can’t and he is frustrated.  Like all children he wants to fit in and be “normal”.  Children live to please their caregivers and I suspect he may be struggling with this.  As far as suggestions without knowing the other details, I would recommend playing games at his level as a family and include him in family planning.  Even at 3 ½ children have remarkable insight as to what is happening and needs to happen.  

Q: My 5 year old son slept great as a baby.  A short nap after breakfast, another longer nap after lunch and from about 8pm until 8am at night.  When we moved him to a toddler bed at age 1 it all changed.  He cut out all his naps and would be extremely tired and difficult by bedtime.  It was exhausting.  To this day he doesn’t sleep well.  He tosses and turns and twitches in his sleep.  He can go from 6am until 12am somedays, and  KNOW that the poor boy is tired.  He lays there tossing and turning and moving his legs and sucking his thumb and just plain WON’T SLEEP!  It has affected his ability to focus on anything.  He doesn’t eat properly and although he has a big heart and is a kind boy he is often difficult to deal with.  He ignores me a lot of the time and has outburst of rage or crying constantly.  One older lady suggested I try melatonin.  I was giving him a 3mg dose every night before bed and it was working great up until one night when he sleep walked and it scared me A LOT.  I have been very consistent with the bedtime routine; shower, snack, book, lights out.  Nothing is working and I don’t believe this is normal.   What do you think?????

A: Well it is very normal for the sleep patterns to change in a child as they grow up.  They will require less and less sleep as they grow (until they are teenagers when all they do is sleep).  It sounds to me like he misses being in a “safe” space and the comfort of being confined.  Like most babies, they sleep better when wrapped up tight and in a controlled space for sleep.  Ask him how he feels about sleeping in the “wide open” larger bed.  I have no doubt that his lack of sleep is a contributor of him being difficult.  As for the medication I would consult a doctor.  I know that this is of little comfort; however there are kids who just are light sleepers and this may be just a stage for him.  After all once he is a teenager you may find the opposite effect.

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