(Warning: Personal info and babbling ahead!)
I am sitting here thinking that I should be packing since we leave at 4 am for our road trip to Minneapolis. Instead I wanted to write post about my thoughts. Thoughts about entering into a new decade. Or simply thoughts on becoming 30. Yes, I am 30 today!
When you were a child did you dream about growing up? About becoming a wife? A mother? I sure did. Funny thing about it though is that my life turned out to be better than I had dreamed it would.
I do not often talk about my personal life on my blog. Why? Because I do not want to make people feel bad. Does that sound as crazy reading it as it sounds in my head? It’s true.
I never dreamed life could be like a fairytale for me because of the nightmare that started it all. Let’s go back 30 years. My mom was barely 16 when she gave birth to me. She was raped at the age of 15 and decided to keep me. I have not really shared this before, but I have decided that it is ok. I LOVE my mom and nothing will change that. I’m so proud of her, she is an amazing woman who does not give herself enough credit. Why should I hide this.
Anyway, lets fast forward to the last decade. I married my prince charming 9 years ago. I mean really…he is a prince charming. I have always struggled with having a low self esteem and also never learned to trust men. Even now I struggle to accept the love that my husband shows me daily. He pretty much is as perfect as they can get. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, plays with the kids, works hard, does dishes, volunteers, tells me i’m beautiful, is so romantic even after 9 years of being married, he does yard work, helps out friends, prays, cuddles, helps me with my blog…should I go on?
Why am I embarrassed to share this with you? Because I feel bad that every woman can not have a husband like I have. I feel bad about myself because I have a hard time letting him love me, letting him hug me a million times a day. But every night before I go to bed I thank the Lord for giving me my prince charming. I mean, if my husband can love me this much, how much more does my heavenly father love me! It is still something I am learning.
This past decade has also brought me 2 precious daughters. I sneak in their room when they are sleeping and often fight back the tears of joy that I have. These girls are my flesh and blood. So beautiful, so perfect, so innocent (and silly)!
I have a nice home, a good job that allows me to work from home, I pretty much have everything a girl could dream of, yet I have so much to learn.
This is why I am so excited to bring in this next decade – Being 30 will be great. I am learning to love and to be loved. I am learning to accept myself and to know that others accept me too. I am learning that even though I have 50 pounds to lose it’s ok. I’m learning that with each day and year that passes I am learning more than I knew before!
I am Jody. I am 30. I have an amazing journey ahead of me! I have a feeling that this decade will be even better than the last one. Yay!
Now let’s have some Bavarian Apple Cheesecake LOL
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