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Do you feel guilty over "mistakes" you’ve made as a parent?

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Q:  Ok, I’ll ask. How do you deal with guilt over mistakes you have made as a parent?


A:  WOW, someone hand this parent a medal for being real.  I know this question one that many of us deal in our heads over and over and over again.  I know for myself there are times when I wonder “what the heck was I thinking” and “how badly did I screw up my kids”.  And I am confident that the majority of the readers out there had said the same thing.  So what is one to do once we have said or done this? 


The first thing that everyone needs to know that we are all forgiven.  Second, we are all going to make mistakes and that is how we learn.  As a social worker when I make up my case plans with my clients I plan in “slip ups” for when they are going to fail.  To expect a person to be perfect is not reasonable and this goes for parenting also.  

One way to deal with mistakes that you made is to remember that every person that is walking on this earth has a parent that messed up in some way when they were being raised.  If you want to deal with the guilt look at your mistake as a learning experience.  This is what we call a teachable moment, and as a parent, your child will have many of these.  Think about how they feel in that teachable moment and that is what you could be projecting also. 


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Alex

Friday 20th of August 2010

Good reply Trevor!

I'd also like to add something, if you don't mind.

Whenever I say or do something towards either of my children, that I probably shouldn't have, I ALWAYS apologize.

Even if I've raised my voice at them because they're driving me bonkers, I'll still apologize for raising my voice. I let them know that Mommy is still upset and that they've done something wrong, but that Mommy shouldn't have yelled at them.

Know what I mean? I think this goes a long way in Parenting. We make mistakes, we're human. But we teach our children to apologize when they've done something wrong, so we should be doing the same thing as parents.