Tangled with a Two Year Old

by Kate Hayes,
 

Last weekend, my husband was entertaining a colleague who had flown in from Europe. After hours of watching two-year-old Kellen climb all over the poor man, I decided to get the kids out of the house. Feeling brave (or crazy), I opted to take them to the movie theater (by myself) to see Disney’s “Tangled.” Oh, what a tangled web we overconfident mommies sometimes weave.

I should say that I was surprised at how smoothly the process of getting the kids in the theater, buying the obligatory popcorn and soda, and finding our seats actually went. Five-year-old Anna, of course, was no problem. Kellen actually sat and intently paid attention to the first 40 minutes or so. And I was extremely proud that I had remembered to bring two sippy cups and two plastic baggies. That way, I was able to divvy out our purchased snacks in a way that prevented both squabbles and spills.

Then Kellen had to go to the bathroom. Unlike most normal two and a half year olds, who would probably WANT their mommies to take them to the potty, my son walks out to the aisle and then informs me, “I going potty. I need some privacy. You stay here. I be right back.” WHAT? You think you can go to the bathroom by yourself?? It took me a couple of minutes to understand what he was actually saying to me. When I finally responded to him in a “No way/ Are you crazy” tone of whisper, he took off running at top speed. This extremely fast kid of mine made it out of our movie, down the hall, and then…get this…actually turned into the ladies’ room before I caught him. How in the world he knew which doorway led to the bathroom is beyond me. I caught my breath, admonished him, washed his hands, and forgave him…just in time to see him take off running again. This time, he turned in the right direction but went into the wrong movie. I caught him just before he ran out in front of the audience. Good times.

When we finally made it back to our theater (and poor Anna, who had been instructed not to get up for anyone under any circumstances), Kellen insisted on sitting by himself in the row in front of us. Fine, Mr. Independent, I thought to myself. Just stop talking! (There is only so much you can do to enforce the rules in a quiet movie theater.) Then he decided that he had to go to the bathroom again, and was off and running. “I be right back! You stay here!” he shouted to my pursuing footsteps. It was a repeat performance of his first step. As I nearly tackled him running into the second wrong theater, all I could think was “What is this kid going to be like when he’s a teenager?”

The good news is that I made it home from the theater that night with both of my children safe and sound. When I will be taking them both to the theater by myself again is anyone’s guess.

As for how I liked “Tangled?” Overall, I thought it was pretty good. However, the times that Kellen had to go to the bathroom came during the two most important parts of the movie, so I really couldn’t tell you how everything conspired to produce the ending. The songs were really cute. And my daughter seemed to love it (although she refused to tell me what I had missed). All in all, I guess you could say it was a fun night…tangled up with a little craziness.

Two year olds. You’ve gotta love ‘em.

Kate is a contributing writer for Mommy Moment. Kate is the proud mom of Anna and Kellen, two preschoolers who are starting to pick up all of her best habits: a passion for reading and exploring new places, an intense interest in organizing, and a total disregard for sleep. See what she has been up to over at www.adventuresinparenting.me