Skip to Content


We think that Grandparents are a vital part of family life.

That said, some grandparents have problems with boundaries and that is why we have written this post.

We have had readers ask for advice on how to get these types of grandparents to back off and some ideas of the words to use when speaking with these grandparents.

If you are struggling with your children’s helicopter grandparents, we hope these strategies and phrases will help you know how to get grandparents to back off.

How to get grandparents to back off


Setting boundaries is the best place to start.

Trust your gut.

While asking for advice is fine, remember that you are the parent and what you feel is the best for your child and family, is what you need to do.

A great way to give grandparents some responsibility without letting them take over is to allow them to take charge of certain tasks when they are with the children.

And relax.

Don’t try to argue every point with them.

Remember, you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Phrases to use to get grandparents to back off

I appreciate your advice. I will make sure to ask you if I need help.

I know you don’t do things the same way, but we do it like this.

Thank you for your concern/worry. I’m happy with doing it this way.

Thank you for your opinion. I’ll think about it.

If there is a situation that comes up in front of your children, (such as a grandparent giving cookies before dinner after you said no) sit down with your parents or in-laws in a neutral setting without your children present.

Make sure your words remain calm and the reasoning for your rules and decisions comes from a place of love and not judgment.

If your children have grandparents who want to be involved in their lives, try to do whatever it takes to allow that connection and relationship to grow.

It may not be easy but it’s worth putting in the effort.


Helicopter Grandparents

You can sign-up to get an email update each day. You can also connect with us on:

Lolly Pop

Monday 22nd of January 2018

My parents love giving out advice on family matters without us asking. As they just do it behind our backs then tell us the information that they had come up with. It really annoys me that my own parents treat me like a baby and they just want to help which we understand that but 9/10 they give out the wrong info because they don't consider other things. My parents always goes behind our backs even when they say: sorry, we won't do it again but they end up doing it again even on a promise. Tried talking to them countless times to no avail as we always have to agree with their ideas or nothing gets done. It's a real drama place when it comes to my parents because old friends don't want anything to do with us anymore because of my parents being so very negative all the time. Trying to control our lives which isn't working.


Friday 15th of December 2017

Lots of helicopter parents/grand parents. Thanks for this and also for spreading awareness.

Carole D

Saturday 5th of August 2017

I sometime give my daughter advice and she sometime ask me for advice, but she knows that she doesn't have to follow my advice. I do not interfere that is a nono for me.