The Rule Keeper

Sometimes it feels like a burden, this insistence I have on following the rules.  Sometimes it feels like maybe my kids are missing out.  Like I’m interfering with their natural inclinations to play without restraint.

Up the ladder, down the slide.

Let’s keep the sand in the sandbox.

Let’s sit on the bouncer, just to be safe.

Everybody needs a turn…

At times, it’s lonely out there.  Every once in a while I meet another rule keeper, but, for the most part, it’s just me.

These days, they don’t need many reminders.  The rules, it seems, are understood.

You can climb up the slide at home, but at the park we just slide down.

Inevitably, they are up against kids who play without rules or limits.  Kid who don’t feel compelled to give someone else a turn.  Kids who climb up the slide every time, preventing the others from sliding down.  Kids who pelt one another with tennis balls and take toys without asking.  Kids who take sand from the sandbox and pour it all over the concrete…creating a significant safety hazard.

Always, when we are up against these kids, someone gets hurt.

Once it was my three year old boy who slipped on the sand hazard and cut his lip open.  One month later, the scar has yet to heal.

Often, it’s the very kids in question.  The kids whose parents are nowhere to be found.  The kids whose parents look the other way so that they can take a break.

Just the other day, a young woman brought two little boys to the park.  We exchanged smiles and quick hellos, but the four year old had her on the run.  He wasn’t listening, he wasn’t following directions, and he wasn’t being safe.  Every time the young woman turned to interact with the older child, the little one made a dangerous move.  She tried to stop him.  She told him that feared he would fall.  She told him that she wanted him to be safe.  “I understand that mom and dad let you do this, but when you’re with Auntie we have to play safe.”

Poor Auntie didn’t stand a chance.  This little boy was determined to climb up the outside of the tunnel slide.  A very, very large tunnel slide.  She was powerless to stop him.  Sure enough, he fell a great distance.  His bones remained in tact, it seems, but his left ear had a giant scrape right down the middle.  The bleeding was instant.  The screaming was too.  The poor little boy finally took a break.

In that moment, I was reminded that being the rule keeper isn’t so bad after all.  I might not be able to prevent injuries, but I know that I can trust my kids to make good choices.  I know that they will climb up the stairs, slide down the slide, and make sure other kids get a turn.  I know that they will keep the sand in the sandbox and watch out for others when swinging.  I know that they will follow the rules.

And the truth is that my kids do play without restraint.

Every single day.

Are you a rule keeper too?

Katie is a Child & Adolescent Psychotherapist/Parenting Expert in Los Angeles, CA.  She has a five year old daughter, three year old son, and a rock and roll husband who makes her life complete. Katie has a parenting advice blog, Practical Parenting, and can be found on Twitter.  She also writes for moonfrye.