Childhood is full of pressure these days.
It seems to start almost the instant they become toddlers. The very moment that they show signs of “independence”, people feel compelled to define the expectations.
Put on your own shoes.
Clean up your own mess.
Pick up all of your toys.
Make your bed.
Pour your cereal.
Get your own water.
The list goes on and on and on.
I am a believer in independence. I am a believer in responsibility. I am a believer in teaching, learning, and growing.
But, above all, I am a believer in childhood.
Childhood is a magical time.
Childhood is digging in the sand, chasing butterflies, racing cars down a slide, and playing pretend.
Childhood is dress up, cooking, and catching bugs.
Childhood is riding bikes, running down hills, and jumping over cracks.
Childhood is smiles, laughter, and one million Iloveyous.
Childhood is pure magic.
The childhood of my memory, anyway…
Today childhood is sports, learning, more sports, and more learning.
Today childhood is defined by seasons and academic achievements.
Today childhood is too many activities to squeeze in a play date, let’s try again another day.
Today childhood is a race to independence.
Today childhood is a race to the finish line.
Not for us.
Blame the infertility, blame the limited family time that results from life in the music industry, blame the long distance from our families of origin, blame whatever seems fit…
In our house, the race does not exist.
In our house, one or two activities are plenty and play is always prioritized.
In our house, play dates are welcome and pajama parties a must.
In our house, family time is essential…and does not have to include a complicated outing.
In our house, the race does not exist.
Some will argue that the race is what kids want. Kids today create their own pressure, they will say.
Others will say that teaching responsibility and independence are the primary jobs of parents…more time spent playing means less time spent teaching.
A disheartening tweet flew through my stream the other day. Sent from an educator, it referenced the importance of working on academic skills throughout the summer to give your children a “competitive edge” when school resumes in the fall.
Is this what childhood has come to? Foregoing the fun and hyper-focusing on academics in order to reach that elusive competitive edge?
Childhood is full of pressure these days.
Let them play. Let them imagine. Let them discover nature and run up slides. Let them be free to enjoy these moments of pure joy before they slip away.
And if you have to pick up a few extra toys at the end of the day because you allowed your children to finish their play? Take comfort in knowing that you gave your children the gift of childhood.
They will thank you for it one day…
How do you decrease childhood pressure?
Rob
Friday 11th of May 2012
I agree that down time is important, but it is never to early to look at responsibility and learning either. The trick, as with all things for young children, is to make it relevant and fun, if possible. The mischief that is "cute" at 4 or 5, is not at 10 or 11, but has been approved and reinforced and difficult to control by that time. When our kids were younger, M&Ms were sorted by color and counted, then eaten, and they looked forward to it (they still do it sometimes). The pleases and thank you's still result in people telling us how well behaved they are in public. They have always been encouraged to play, but if they wanted to do piano, Guiding, swimming etc., we did our best to accommodate that too.
Kelly
Friday 4th of May 2012
Right now the only pressure in our household comes from trying to keep the Little out of everything! I love this though. Kids need time to play and explore with out adult expectations and so do adults!
Chelsey
Thursday 3rd of May 2012
I was thinking about putting my 8year old daughter in soccer or choir recently. I asked her if she was interested and she said "No -- then I won't have as much time to play". So I didn't bother to sign her up! I'm all for more free play. Unstructured play time is so beneficial!
Chris
Thursday 3rd of May 2012
Great post. We do what my daughter calls "learning activities" when she asks for them but usually they are games and lead by her. It is all play here. "what are we doing today mama?" gets the response "playing". We do have to remind her at times that she is playing for fun. Luckily the soccer she will start next week involves no structured games. 5 year olds don't need games. They need fun skills.
Paula @FantasticFrugalFamily
Thursday 3rd of May 2012
My kiddos know it's okay and ENCOURAGED to ask for help. Learning is growing. And if you're not condfident in yourself when approaching a task alone, its okay. We're a family, and we'll support each other. This can be from simple things like going down a slide for the first time, or riding a bike, or that momentous first sleepover. You're so right. Kids need to be KIDS. They're meant to play and get dirty and need mama and daddy around. Why make them grow up, when they have so much time ahead to do that? <3