MARRIAGE TIPS – how has it already been 15 years?
15 years of marriage. Wow, that went fast, it felt like 15 minutes…..under water.
Before I get to the 15 MARRIAGE TIPS, I want to share with you what we did to celebrate our 15 years of marriage.
It was not practical for us to go away for the night, so we decided to make the best of having a day to spend together. My husband took a vacation day from work and after the girls got on the bus for school we headed to the city. Our first stop was THERMËA – WINNIPEG – Thermëa is a haven that features relaxation techniques from the Nordic countries.
What a great place to let time stand still and unwind. We spent 3 hours enjoying the most relaxing experience. We reenergized in the Nordic baths and waterfalls, steam bath, Finnish sauna, and relaxation areas. One of my favorite parts was cuddling together with my husband on a hammock under the trees. There was a nice breeze and it was so peaceful. With having children, we do not often get those quiet moments together in each others arms, it was perfect. After 3 hours of pure relaxation, we went upstairs for our couples massage, our relaxation was elevated to a whole new level….pure bliss. (I believe there are close to 40 massage therapists at Thermëa, I am sure they are all fantastic but because I know some of you will ask, my massage was done by Kim Duffill and my husband had his massage done by Steve Baete).
We followed the Thermea experience with supper at CARNIVAL Winnipeg. This traditional Brazilian BBQ establishment is in the historic Exchange District in Winnipeg along the Red River.
If you have never been to Carnival, be prepare to be swarmed by a troop of Gauchos (carvers) who generously serve you various cuts of seasoned beef, lamb, pork, chicken and Brazilian sausage, all accompanied by traditional side items and house-baked Brazilian cheese bread. I have to say that my favorite traditional side dish was the MELHOR DE TRES – a toasted cassava, Brazilian vinaigrette salsa & clarified butter. Pair it with meat and you have incredible texture and flavor. WOW! A great way to end a night with great food.
15 MARRIAGE TIPS FROM OUR 15 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
I feel very blessed to have the marriage I do, but I want to keep it real. Marriage takes a lot of work and dedication. Here are 15 marriage tips that my husband wanted to share that we have learned in our 15 years of marriage so far.
1) TAKE TIME FOR EACH OTHER
No matter how hectic your life gets, you need to make time to spend together. Consider it an investment and your healthy marriage is the gained interest.
2) DO LITTLE THINGS EVEN IF YOU DON’T FEEL LIKE IT
Yes, I know life gets busy, but sneak a note into your hubby’s wallet, or pop by his place of work with a coffee, these little things are really small things that show your spouse that you are thinking of them.
No matter what, always show respect. Be kind with your words and actions. Sometimes we just get in a bad habit forgetting to show respect and kindness, let this be a reminder.
4) BE FAITHFUL
There are bound to be difficult times in marriage, and you may go through times where it seems that there is nothing worth staying for – push through it. Stay faithful. It will make your marriage stronger. So much stronger.
5) DO THINGS TOGETHER
Invite friends over for dinner, or volunteer together at a local soup kitchen one day – spending time together as a couple either with friends or serving in some way can strengthen the bond you have as a couple. Sometimes it can get easy to both be involved in separate things, but it is important to have things you can do together as a couple too.
6) BUILD A FENCE TOGETHER
Early in our marriage we decided to build a nice white picket fence together in our backyard….WOW – After we built that fence together we realized that if we ever needed another fence built, we would hire someone, because hiring someone would be cheaper than the cost of a divorce. We were joking when we said that, but we learned a lot from that experience . Anytime a difficult project gets done together, it can officially be viewed as a badge of honor in our books.
7) DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE SMALL STUFF
It really doesn’t matter if the shopping bags are folded or the toilet paper rolls are facing the back or the front…just remember that the world will not end if these things don’t happen. That said, if you know your spouse likes the toilet paper roll a certain way, why not try to remember to put it on that way. Really – these are not BIG things.
8) DON’T GIVE UP
If When things get difficult, fight for your marriage. Go to counselling and do whatever you can to work on it. Think about how much time you spent investing in your spouse when you were dating. You need to spend as much time as you can investing and working on your marriage. It it worth it.
9) LIFT EACH OTHER UP
Celebrate your partners achievements and when you talk with your friends, be sure to say those things that you love about your partner – so often we go to our friends to complain about what is going wrong, try instead to talk about what is going right – it will help keep you focused on the good things.
10) DREAM ABOUT THE FUTURE TOGETHER
There is nothing like dreaming about what your life will be like. Dream about your family, your vacation, even your retirement. Just remember to dream.
11) INTIMACY + SEX
You didn’t think I would skip this, did you? Sometimes we get tired and are not in the mood – but if you do not make time for intimacy, especially if you have children, it may just not happen – and that is not a good thing. Now, let me remind you that ‘sex in the evening begins with kindness in the morning’ – what I mean by this is that you need to show affection throughout the day – love and appreciation are so very important.
It has always been said laughter is the best medicine and this is still very true. Watch a funny movie or simply look at old pictures… this will help elevate your mood.
13) IT GETS BETTER
We all know people who look like they have the perfect marriage, in fact, I have been told that many people think that of the marriage that Trevor and I have. Let me tell you something. The first 7 years of marriage were hard for us. The next 7 years were not quite so hard. We are dedicated to each other and although we go through hard times, we both know that no matter what, for better or worse, we will be together. Sticking with it has been worth it. I know there will always be hard times – that is life and I choose to do this life with my husband.
14) KNOW WHAT YOUR SPOUSE LOVES
For my hubby it is cherry cheesecake, crunch berries cereal or homemade pie. He rarely gets these treats, but I know he will be a very happy man when he does!
15) ALWAYS SAY I LOVE YOU
Hearing those words from your spouse never gets old. Just remember to say those words to yourself too!
Every marriage will look different. These are some of the tips that we have learned from our 15 years of marriage.
How long have you been married?
What marriage tips do you want to add?
You may also like these 21 WAYS TO CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS.
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Thank-you to Thermëa Winnipeg and Carnival Winnipeg for the incredible experiences.
Angela September Smith
Tuesday 10th of October 2017
<3 great list. I agree on all counts!
Sunday 8th of January 2017
To those of you newly married, engaged or with your soul mate, please do what I did not. Be sure that you talk your decision over with God. He is always present. I've been married 30 years, sadly I didn't look for a God fearing man and I have suffered the many things that a sub filled person could do. I have spent these years in prayer. Just be sure that you pray together, believe together and keep God first and He will walk with you through a beautiful life.
Agnes Dela Cruz
Wednesday 1st of June 2016
keep the love burning as they say, many things you can make to keep the relationship going. Making efforts is a must too
R U S S
Tuesday 31st of May 2016
I'm not yet married and I don't see myself yet getting there but I so agree with everything that you put on your 15 tips. Respect & Faithfulness are core foundations not just with married couples, but in any relationship if you ask me. Everything won't be easy but if 2 people are committed to their marriage then nothing is impossible.
Tuesday 31st of May 2016
I am seeing marriages crumbling all around me. It' s nice to hear about one that works. Happy Anniversary!
Jody @ Mommy Moment
Wednesday 1st of June 2016
Oh, thank-you Rosey. I see marriages falling apart too. They take a lot of work, but it is worth it to stick it out.